i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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