Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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