i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
