There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
