so explain again why im purple
no
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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