I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
