you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
