I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
