Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
