i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
