i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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