You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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