How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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