My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
