I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize