remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
