She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
