But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
