If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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