Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
