I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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