I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
