May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
