Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
