Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
His nipple licking is glorious
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