For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
