So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
