Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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