My room smells like vodka and shame
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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