You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I am midnight drunk by noon
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
