love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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