he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
