why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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