So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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