It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
