We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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