I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
where are you?
Hypothermia
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
