dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
high people should be assigned attendants
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i think my cat just said my name.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
