so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
