my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
