Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
