Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
