there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
