Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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