You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
