No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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