grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize