soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
