You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
