I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He did a backflip because drugs
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
