You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
