Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
