She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
