He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
