She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
