Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
